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Chrissy's Headshot Museum
"The Soap Seller" by Mr. Gerald Craden
>This photograph was taken in Mr. Craden's HOME studio, which I went to alone. At the time, it never occurred to me that he could have cut me into itty bitty pieces and buried me in his backyard. Obviously and lucky for me, he was not a deranged serial killer. Mr. Craden's "claim to fame" is that he did the cover for the hit movie "Black Spring Break" (hit meaning it "hit" Blockbuster). The most interesting thing about this experience is that I was thoroughly impressed with Mr. Craden's credit because I had seen this movie and its sequel "Black Spring Break 2" more than once. K |
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Title Origin
This picture is called "The Soap Seller" because a guy named Darrel Hollingquest of DHQ Productions(ceo/director/producer/writer/actor/singer/rapper/artist/event promoter/photographer/dancer/editor/talent manager/graphic artist/recording artist/publicist/real estate investor/comic/travel agent/website developer/A&R rep/waiter for fun/cabdriver to kill time - you know how they do in L.A.) told me that this picture was only good for selling soap. "Thanks Guy!" |
"Oh No He Didn't!" by Mr. John Gibson
I really liked this picture, but for real, I've never looked this old. I think that I have an old soul that is only revealed in pictures. Is that weird? Title Origin
This picture is entitled, "Oh no he didn't" because while I was using this picture a certain unnamed writer/director took time out of his busy writer/director schedule K to call my house and say, "I really want to use you for my movie, but I can't because you are just too darn fat. If you want to make it in L.A., you've got to lose that weight girlfriend." What a nice and tactful guy! Note: Please don't call a black woman "girlfriend" unless you are black. The only exception to this rule is if you are gay. Gay men of all races are allowed to call black women girlfriend. (No one can say I didn't use my museum to educate). |
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"Hoff Hair"
I can't remember the name of the guy who took this picture, but he I do remember that he was a cutie. I really loved this picture. I think it captured my essence, but I was so busy throwing up because of the aforementioned writer/director, I couldn't use it very long. Just kidding, an eating disorder is NOT a laughing matter! Title Origin
This picture is called, "Hoff's Hair" because Daniel Hoff told me to make my hair curly, so that I could book more commercials. This hairstyle was very economical and I wore it for about 2 years. Thanks Danny! Also, I would like to give a special shout out to Michael, who gave me the nickname "Evilene" (that was cute and I'm not being sarcastic for once). I would also like to apologize for going on Christmas Break and never coming back.J My bad. |
"I'm Still Mad!"
Title Origin
This picture was taken by a photographer who shall remain nameless. I never used one of these pictures. Four rolls of film, FOUR!! This picture was the best one. I can't even write about it. I can't even make one single joke because I'm still mad, which explains the title of this photo. In the photographer’s defense, he did offer to re-shoot for free. After about, two milliseconds of consideration, I decided against it. Life is way too short, hence the second part of the title.
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"Gotta Love It" by Rod Goodman
Title Origin
This picture is entitled, "Gotta Love It" because it was the first of my skinny pictures and you know I loved it. All of my diet and exercise paid off (Diet = I didn't have no money, so I couldn't afford food & Exercise = I didn't have no car, so I had to walk everywhere). |
"I Apologize" by Rod Goodman
Title Origin
This is the first of my unbeweavable & unbecleavable pictures. Although its official title is "I Apologize", I like to call it simply "Breasts". I was trying to go for classy/sexy, but it seems like I just got, well . . . breasts or more accurately cleavage. I apologize for the boobage, but in my defense, this is nothing compared to some of the pics that I took when I was still skinny, which I pray don't pop up on the internet once I get my series. J
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"Sassy" by Diana Toshiko
Title Origin
This photo is called "Sassy" because I think it makes me look sassy. I don't have to have a story for everything. |
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